To Perfectly Poach an Egg

A long time ago, I would say things like "I don't even want to learn to poach eggs! I love that they are a special treat when I go to brunch." That was me lying to cover up my fear of poaching eggs.

Since then, I've grown to love poaching eggs. And now feel like a damn expert in the field of egg poaching.

I've taken tips from all over, but I sort of feel like my technique is a pared down, easy version that is hard to screw up. It may not always make artful eggs but it also doesn't require a strainer (i.e. another thing to clean). It certainly doesn't involve vinegar (everyone says it doesn't change the taste--I strongly disagree). And it doesn't even involve swirling of water; that never changed the outcome for me too much and the whole coaxing of the egg white toward the yolk just caused me anxiety. So, here's what it does include.

First, I fill a pot with enough water so that when I've dropped the eggs in they will be sufficiently covered. I then let the water boil.

 While that's happening, I crack my two eggs into ramekins (or small bowls). Also, set up a paper towel to dry the eggs when you're finished cooking them.

Once the water has reached boiling, I turn it down to just barely a simmer. (For some reason, I feel this allows me to get a more exact simmer.) This picture is upside down.

Then, I bring one ramekin as close to the water as possible and gently drop the egg into the water (reminding me of the other name for poached eggs "dropped eggs"). Repeat with egg two. The two eggs may touch each other a little bit. Don't even worry about that. They love each other.

I just let them rest and dance. I turn the timer onto 3 minutes. As they cook, I watch. I ensure that the water remains bubbly and active, but if the bubbles start getting large or cause the eggs to bounce all over the place, I always turn it down. Don't be afraid if you notice some foam; you can scrape it or leave it. Though, a lot of foam may indicate your water is up too high.

You want the water to be moving the eggs gently on a simmer not invigorating them with boiling bubbles house beats. It's the egg ballet not the egg hip hopera. Also, if your eggs aren't moving at all, your water is too low and you're risking some runny whites, which is even a bridge too far for this runny yolk loving lady. BEEPBEEPBEEP.

I use a holey spoon to take the eggs and place them on paper towel to drain the water. You'll note, these are not perfect looking eggs. But that's because we didn't waste time with strainers or ruin them with vinegar. They are pure, imperfect beauties. (If your towel is already out & ready this step is less "stressful".)

 

Then I throw them on broiled English muffins. I always keep a pack of muffins in my freezer. 30 seconds in the microwave and couple minutes under the broiler. (These are store bought. This year, I will conquer homemade ones.)

Sometimes, I put them next to flowers so that they feel special. And they look gorgeous.

I always grind big flakes of salt and a medium amount of pepper onto the top. Then I pierce the yolk and watch it ooze out the side drenching the muffin. (Cook them longer if you don't like yolk lava, but that's your problem ;)

I wholeheartedly devour them.* In, like an eighth of the time it took to cook them.

 

This technique always works for me! The only instances when they weren't utter perfection were my fault, not the eggs and not the technique. I was too complacent with letting the bubbles go nuts or I was too aggressive when dropping the eggs in. Gentle with the eggs; the yolk lava is depending on you.  

*An eating tip: I always smash up one egg on its side of the muffin. Then I pick up the muffin and eat it like an open-faced sandwich. In a restaurant I'll be all fancy and cut it with a knife and fork. But who wants that when you're just in your pajamas watching Seinfeld reruns? No one does. Only when I'm done with the first will I pierce the second. You don't want anything but warm, unctuous yolk on your toast. You sure don't.